24: Who is one person you would thank in this moment and why? I challenge you to communicate this gratitude with this person?
As I reflect on the people in my life, the very first person, at this moment in time, who comes to mind is my very close friend, Landon. Throughout thick and thin, I know I can count on him to give me the best advice and a caring shoulder to just rant to and listen. Listening is a very important attribute I look forward to in people because it really shows one’s character. However, when I mean listening, I don't just mean responding to me when I’m done, I mean hearing what I have to say, making eye contact, and not necessarily giving great advice but giving me your honest opinion. The satisfaction of being heard helps boost confidence because it feels like your thoughts or statements are important. At the end of the day, everyone just wants to feel important to someone or something, and Landon brings me that feeling.
25: When you read this chapter, regarding eye contact and connection, what are your initial thoughts?
As children, we are always taught “stranger danger” resulting in the constant problem of shyness and almost rude-fullness towards those we don't know. Of course benign caution of your surroundings and the people you are with is always important, but to give a little smile can never do any harm. My first initial reaction to this chapter's message was a little shocked and curious. I try my best to be as kind as possible to strangers and give a few “Good mornings,” or “Hellos” as I walk through the halls, but never enough to actually make a connection. As we discussed this topic in class, one of our classmates acknowledged the fact that a smile is always free, and it can brighten someone’s day. I have never thought about the real impact of a smile coming from a stranger, but as I dig deeper I realize that it all comes down to feeling seen and appreciated. Us, humans, all want to be appreciated and heard and by taking the few amounts of effort to just crack a smile, elevates your happiness and others.
26: When do you find a quiet moment in your day, every day, just to be present and quiet? Do you? Or perhaps you don't... explain?
Passing through day by day, new assignments are building up on the shelves that are known as my shoulders. I have realized that I don't take any time to myself to really meditate on my day or my inner thoughts, reflecting rather on the words that others have told me. This chapter has made me realize the importance of self appreciation and how beneficial it is to enjoy the time to be by yourself. One reason I believe many people struggle with this is the societal standards of always being busy and the negative connotation of being alone. Learning to be alone allows you to really enjoy life. Although friends and family make the journey of life more enjoyable, you are with yourself every single second of every single day. Thus, by taking the time away from the drama, stress and chaos that life brings us, you actually get to realize the beauty of peace and calmness with yourself.
27: Describe a time when you were frustrated with someone, but “let-go” of the situation and moved forward with your life. How did that make you feel?
Growing up in a large family, I have experienced many situations where I just had to “let-go” because it just wasn't a big deal to worry or be mad about. One situation in particular was when my older sister, Sofia, stole one of my favorite jeans and never gave them back. (Just to add a little more information, I only wore those jeans maybe twice before she took them from me.) For a good few months, I would bother her about it and repeatedly ask her about my jeans, and she still never gave them to me. However, I simply got tired of the situation and just forgave her for stealing my jeans. I know she enjoyed them greatly and elevated her outfits. By letting go, I was able to move on with my life and focus on productive and useful things in my life.
#20 - When was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude?
Gratitude; something I find hard to express even though I feel it almost all the time. Growing up in a loud, exciting family, I would never change any of my childhood. I am simply blessed to experience such a fun and eventful life, but we were never a super lovey dovey type of family. We all knew the amount of love that we had for each other, and you could say words of affirmation were definitely not our love language. Thus, never giving the opportunity to say it or in this case write them a letter stating my appreciation and love for them. Birthday cards were always a way to show my love, but those were used for more teasing than anything else.
#28 - Describe a situation where you didn’t seek to understand first. Was there resolution with this conflict?
There have been numerous situations in my life that I didn't understand at first, but over time or maybe with a deep conversation, resolution had occurred. With friends and family members, I have gotten into arguments that I didn't necessarily understand at first, but with the help of them explaining what they are feeling and their truth of the situation I was able to create self resolution which then helped form a resolution between whoever it concerned. There have also been situations where the conflict was only within myself and to create resolution I had to back up and take a minute to rest or simply put it on my back burner.
#29 - Who is someone you can genuinely talk to, that you know will listen to you. Describe the friendship.
Growing up in a small private school with a class of 26 students through k-8, you would suspect that everyone got along with each other. In those nine years of my life, I was able to create two of the strongest friends that I will ever create in my life. Ella and Emma are my two best friends that I will forever cherish in my heart for I can say literally anything to them and not feel judged. They are my saving grace, and my other half, two of the only people I can trust. It’s funny because not too long ago I had a conversation with them similar to this topic. We all agreed that transfering to a new school was hard to find people that we could really trust and feel completely comfortable with, but we soon realized that we will never find something as special as our friendship. Not too many people have such a tight knit bond like we have and I am truly grateful for it.
Chapter #35
“Looking Beyond Behavior”
Prompt: In your own words, describe the meaning of Loving - Kindness.
The meaning of “Loving - Kindness,” is a way we practice in life. We can do so by thinking of others even through all the anger and hardships we face in life. Everyone is hit with hard things in life, but by pushing through them and not letting them take over our mind is what is truly effective. It makes us stronger for the next time something hard happens in our life. It also means that we apply the same generosity to others too. Loving-Kindness is something that comes within and when taught can come across as superficial. If you appear to be loving and kind to impress someone else, it just shows that you only care about the menial things in life. Love and kindness are things that help you be a better person and have a better life.
Chapter #36
“See the Innocence”
Prompt: What occurs when we practice compassion towards others and let go of “their” story, rather than be caught up in the drama of a situation?
When we practice compassion towards others and let go of “their” story, we let ourselves take a step back and let go of the problem at hand. It allows the weight of madness or any other feelings that could occur in said situation. This is a very hard thing to do to say the least, but it's something we have to do at the end of the day. I, myself, have had to learn this the hard way, though it has made me a better person. I am able to give people grace, and be an example to people on how to be. Letting go of their story is a way to give clarity and peace to the situation.
Chapter #37
“Choose Being Kind Over Being Right.”
Define equanimity. Do you practice this in your life? Look at your Ego first before you answer…
Equanimity is to be calm even in tough or difficult situations. This is something that I have to challenge myself everyday dealing with others that bring a negative attitude to the table. Making me want to yell and punch them in the face, I find it easier in the end to just leave it alone then face it head on. I am not proud of it sometimes because it leads to me letting people walk all over me even though they have done me extremely dirty. Recently too, I have been trying to figure out the right thing to do while maintaining a sophisticated and mature look on things. Equanimity is something that this generation lacks and is something that even adults need to work on.
Chapter #38
“Tell Three People (Today) How Much You Love Them”
In picking 3 people, who would you choose and why them?
The three people that I would pick would be my dad, sisters (I count them as one), and my life-long friends. First off my dad. I, myself, have never really been the most affectionate person when it comes to the people that I know they will be in my life forever. (weird, I know) I truly get this from my father. We can joke around and such, but we don’t really say I love you too often. I hope this shows him that I think about him and that I appreciate him too. Secondly, my sisters. To reiterate, I don’t say I love you to too many people. They do so much for me, and never complain so I would just want to show them that I actually do care about them and not want to beat their guts from time to time. Lastly, my close friends. They are the few people that I can tell anything and everything to, and I couldn’t thank them enough. Being a junior in highschool, I have met a lot of fake people and them still being by my side means the world to me.
“Looking Beyond Behavior”
Prompt: In your own words, describe the meaning of Loving - Kindness.
The meaning of “Loving - Kindness,” is a way we practice in life. We can do so by thinking of others even through all the anger and hardships we face in life. Everyone is hit with hard things in life, but by pushing through them and not letting them take over our mind is what is truly effective. It makes us stronger for the next time something hard happens in our life. It also means that we apply the same generosity to others too. Loving-Kindness is something that comes within and when taught can come across as superficial. If you appear to be loving and kind to impress someone else, it just shows that you only care about the menial things in life. Love and kindness are things that help you be a better person and have a better life.
Chapter #36
“See the Innocence”
Prompt: What occurs when we practice compassion towards others and let go of “their” story, rather than be caught up in the drama of a situation?
When we practice compassion towards others and let go of “their” story, we let ourselves take a step back and let go of the problem at hand. It allows the weight of madness or any other feelings that could occur in said situation. This is a very hard thing to do to say the least, but it's something we have to do at the end of the day. I, myself, have had to learn this the hard way, though it has made me a better person. I am able to give people grace, and be an example to people on how to be. Letting go of their story is a way to give clarity and peace to the situation.
Chapter #37
“Choose Being Kind Over Being Right.”
Define equanimity. Do you practice this in your life? Look at your Ego first before you answer…
Equanimity is to be calm even in tough or difficult situations. This is something that I have to challenge myself everyday dealing with others that bring a negative attitude to the table. Making me want to yell and punch them in the face, I find it easier in the end to just leave it alone then face it head on. I am not proud of it sometimes because it leads to me letting people walk all over me even though they have done me extremely dirty. Recently too, I have been trying to figure out the right thing to do while maintaining a sophisticated and mature look on things. Equanimity is something that this generation lacks and is something that even adults need to work on.
Chapter #38
“Tell Three People (Today) How Much You Love Them”
In picking 3 people, who would you choose and why them?
The three people that I would pick would be my dad, sisters (I count them as one), and my life-long friends. First off my dad. I, myself, have never really been the most affectionate person when it comes to the people that I know they will be in my life forever. (weird, I know) I truly get this from my father. We can joke around and such, but we don’t really say I love you too often. I hope this shows him that I think about him and that I appreciate him too. Secondly, my sisters. To reiterate, I don’t say I love you to too many people. They do so much for me, and never complain so I would just want to show them that I actually do care about them and not want to beat their guts from time to time. Lastly, my close friends. They are the few people that I can tell anything and everything to, and I couldn’t thank them enough. Being a junior in highschool, I have met a lot of fake people and them still being by my side means the world to me.
#39 - Describe a time when you saw an individual or a group lack humility. How did that make you feel about that said individual/group? No need to share names in this example.
When someone is lacking humility, it makes me want to stay away from those types of people. It shows their true outlooks and the importance of their outlooks on the world; themselves. Having humility is something I strive for very often to the point where it may even hinder my abilities to really recognize my work and achievements. I believe that you should be able to show off your achievements with the right intentions; the right intentions bening to want and share your achievements because you want to share them with people that care and you care about them. Not sharing your achievements to brag in their face. My opinions and thoughts on this subject are pretty blank and straight forward, I just believe that some humans can be full of themselves, to put in simple terms, and that makes me want to get away from them.
#40 - What is your perspective on this article? Valid or waste of my time?
This article is very… interesting. I believe that there are many valid points made; however, I disagree with some. One statement that was made that caught my eye was that arguing about if you should mention the number of times you have done something for someone else or done a chore, correlates to the arguments that “you always have to be right.” I strongly disagree with this statement, to some extent, because voicing your feelings on how you are doing a lot of work is not trying to brag or to show off to other people, it's to make known that you are not receiving the same amount of effort back. It is a very difficult lesson to learn that others do not have to do the same amount of work that you do, and when it is one a menial level, then you shouldn't have too big of a problem. It's just when the credit is not given to the right person and letting others walk all over you. If you are working and taking the slack for others, it is only going to hinder them in the long run.
#41 - Do you Weatherproof? Explain.
Weatherproofing is the act of wanting to fix or point out flaws in other people. This is a very toxic way about going because you aren't giving people the same fairness as you would want for yourself. Weatherproofing is something that we all do self consciously, however acting on those without actually giving them a chance or to give them a second chance is not fair, in my opinion. You can never be too quick to make assumptions about other people or judge them off of things that you may not agree with. It is healthy to have disagreements, it makes you a more well rounded person to be able to accept these. However, I do agree with seeing those “problems” or “flaws” and just putting them on the back burner. Keep them in mind but don't act on them. No one should be judged on the mistakes that they make, but they shouldn't be necessarily forgotten. To protect yourself, and there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first, you have to realize and try and understand what the other person is going through without making a scene of it.
When someone is lacking humility, it makes me want to stay away from those types of people. It shows their true outlooks and the importance of their outlooks on the world; themselves. Having humility is something I strive for very often to the point where it may even hinder my abilities to really recognize my work and achievements. I believe that you should be able to show off your achievements with the right intentions; the right intentions bening to want and share your achievements because you want to share them with people that care and you care about them. Not sharing your achievements to brag in their face. My opinions and thoughts on this subject are pretty blank and straight forward, I just believe that some humans can be full of themselves, to put in simple terms, and that makes me want to get away from them.
#40 - What is your perspective on this article? Valid or waste of my time?
This article is very… interesting. I believe that there are many valid points made; however, I disagree with some. One statement that was made that caught my eye was that arguing about if you should mention the number of times you have done something for someone else or done a chore, correlates to the arguments that “you always have to be right.” I strongly disagree with this statement, to some extent, because voicing your feelings on how you are doing a lot of work is not trying to brag or to show off to other people, it's to make known that you are not receiving the same amount of effort back. It is a very difficult lesson to learn that others do not have to do the same amount of work that you do, and when it is one a menial level, then you shouldn't have too big of a problem. It's just when the credit is not given to the right person and letting others walk all over you. If you are working and taking the slack for others, it is only going to hinder them in the long run.
#41 - Do you Weatherproof? Explain.
Weatherproofing is the act of wanting to fix or point out flaws in other people. This is a very toxic way about going because you aren't giving people the same fairness as you would want for yourself. Weatherproofing is something that we all do self consciously, however acting on those without actually giving them a chance or to give them a second chance is not fair, in my opinion. You can never be too quick to make assumptions about other people or judge them off of things that you may not agree with. It is healthy to have disagreements, it makes you a more well rounded person to be able to accept these. However, I do agree with seeing those “problems” or “flaws” and just putting them on the back burner. Keep them in mind but don't act on them. No one should be judged on the mistakes that they make, but they shouldn't be necessarily forgotten. To protect yourself, and there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first, you have to realize and try and understand what the other person is going through without making a scene of it.
#42 - Who do you choose to send love to at this moment?
Someone or someones, I chose to send love to at this very moment are my friends. I chose to show and tell the people I care about how much they mean to me and how they affect my life. Showing thanks and gratitude can be a difficult thing sometimes, but it's worth it. It's easy to focus on the negative things, however focusing on the goods can truly change you as a person. Having a good mindset in life is what truly makes life great and worth living. In today’s society, we are so consumed with the wrongs of the world or the people who do us, and to forget to shine light on the good that goes on in our lives everyday. By spreading love to the people around you can give you peace in your life and make you start living.
#43- Reflect on the following: “Judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.”
We live in a world where we put the majority of our energy on the fixations that we have on other people. This takes away energy and thought that could be focused on positive things, such as self care, work, friends, family, etc. The list could go on, and it is proven that I could better your mental health. I strongly believe that you are what you eat, and in this situation you are what you put out there in the universe. If you are constantly talking bad about others and judging them, you are putting negative energy out there for it to be put back on you. I agree with the part of the quote where it states that judging others takes away from working on the goals you have for yourself. Instead of doing good, you are actually in design them and yourself. Time is special and by wasting it on foul ugly language and thoughts, then you are simply wasting time.
#44 - Why is it so important to see the difference amongst one another in our small intimate circle to culture around the world?
In our world of many different cultures and different types of people, we bring many different stories and traditions of the table. Realizing the differences amongst our close friends or community, can be difficult because you typically surround yourself around people who are similar to you in some way or possible. However, to show love and appreciation to others you need to accept the difference in our heritage. I don't believe that we need to confine ourselves to disregarding our culture in fear of seeming weird or “not normal” to others. Diversity is what makes our life fun and interesting and challenging. We are in a world where we are able to share and teach others information that they would never know because they haven't live in a situation like such. I find joy when I learn something new about someone that I wouldn’t even guess if they haven't told me about it. Ripon is such a unique place because there are so many people of the same culture and nature that there isn't that much diversity. Yet, this gives a chance for those who are different to step and educate others on their life.
Someone or someones, I chose to send love to at this very moment are my friends. I chose to show and tell the people I care about how much they mean to me and how they affect my life. Showing thanks and gratitude can be a difficult thing sometimes, but it's worth it. It's easy to focus on the negative things, however focusing on the goods can truly change you as a person. Having a good mindset in life is what truly makes life great and worth living. In today’s society, we are so consumed with the wrongs of the world or the people who do us, and to forget to shine light on the good that goes on in our lives everyday. By spreading love to the people around you can give you peace in your life and make you start living.
#43- Reflect on the following: “Judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.”
We live in a world where we put the majority of our energy on the fixations that we have on other people. This takes away energy and thought that could be focused on positive things, such as self care, work, friends, family, etc. The list could go on, and it is proven that I could better your mental health. I strongly believe that you are what you eat, and in this situation you are what you put out there in the universe. If you are constantly talking bad about others and judging them, you are putting negative energy out there for it to be put back on you. I agree with the part of the quote where it states that judging others takes away from working on the goals you have for yourself. Instead of doing good, you are actually in design them and yourself. Time is special and by wasting it on foul ugly language and thoughts, then you are simply wasting time.
#44 - Why is it so important to see the difference amongst one another in our small intimate circle to culture around the world?
In our world of many different cultures and different types of people, we bring many different stories and traditions of the table. Realizing the differences amongst our close friends or community, can be difficult because you typically surround yourself around people who are similar to you in some way or possible. However, to show love and appreciation to others you need to accept the difference in our heritage. I don't believe that we need to confine ourselves to disregarding our culture in fear of seeming weird or “not normal” to others. Diversity is what makes our life fun and interesting and challenging. We are in a world where we are able to share and teach others information that they would never know because they haven't live in a situation like such. I find joy when I learn something new about someone that I wouldn’t even guess if they haven't told me about it. Ripon is such a unique place because there are so many people of the same culture and nature that there isn't that much diversity. Yet, this gives a chance for those who are different to step and educate others on their life.
#45 - Develop your own Helping Rituals
What are some ways that you can help the spread of kindness to others?
A few ways I can help the spread of kindness to others is by listening and thinking of others. In highschool, it can be very easy to get caught up in your own world, and not second guess that others can be hurt by your actions. It takes maturity to actually do this, but it is a quality that is very honorable. Everyone wants to be heard and feel like they are important, so by using your words carefully and wisely can make others feel special and appreciated.
Kindness can be very difficult when we look up to others that promote “self care” and “putting yourself first.” I know many people that use these sayings as an excuse to do things selfishly and because they “deserve it.” No one is more deserving of others and it is heartbreaking seeing this among campus. This motivates me more to better myself and be a good person.
#46 - Every day, Tell at least one person something you like, admire, or appreciate about them.
Give a text via text or DM. Who did you choose and how did it make you feel to support another person?
I texted my good friends Ella and Emma. They have been my best friends since kindergarten and I would not know what to do without them. They are what keep me going and have been an example of true friends to be since day one. I wanted to text them because I felt like there was a need to show that I notice all the good that they do to me. The past few weeks have been pretty hard on me, and they have been some of the truest people I know.
It is hard finding true, honest people that just want the best for you and I am the luckiest person alive to be able to have them by my side. It made me feel very good about myself and thankful for them, when I texted them. I know they would do anything for me, just as I would do anything for them.
#47 - Argue for your limitations, and they're yours.
Discuss a time where you had felt self doubt and put limitations on yourself. How did you or how can you change this behavior?
My boyfriend broke up with me. I felt very alone, and believed that I had lost some friends because of it. Due to feeling alone, unworthy, and neglected by my friends, I truly believed that no one would care about me and that I’m not interesting. These are mindful limitations that I placed on myself to believe that I am not worthy, when it's the exact opposite. It is hard leaving certain relationships, but by learning to love yourself and be by yourself will make you the happiest in the end. People come and go and people will not treat you with the respect that you deserve, but by loving yourself and being happy with those that do show you respect will make you the best version. I pity those who are not content with themselves and who do not know how to control their emotions. People tend to be shocked when they are seen as the bad guy, when they do wrong. Making excuses for yourself is also another form of putting limitations. You are limiting yourself from growth and being a healthy person.
I am slowly learning to love myself, and not take things personally when others do not realize how great of a person you are.
What are some ways that you can help the spread of kindness to others?
A few ways I can help the spread of kindness to others is by listening and thinking of others. In highschool, it can be very easy to get caught up in your own world, and not second guess that others can be hurt by your actions. It takes maturity to actually do this, but it is a quality that is very honorable. Everyone wants to be heard and feel like they are important, so by using your words carefully and wisely can make others feel special and appreciated.
Kindness can be very difficult when we look up to others that promote “self care” and “putting yourself first.” I know many people that use these sayings as an excuse to do things selfishly and because they “deserve it.” No one is more deserving of others and it is heartbreaking seeing this among campus. This motivates me more to better myself and be a good person.
#46 - Every day, Tell at least one person something you like, admire, or appreciate about them.
Give a text via text or DM. Who did you choose and how did it make you feel to support another person?
I texted my good friends Ella and Emma. They have been my best friends since kindergarten and I would not know what to do without them. They are what keep me going and have been an example of true friends to be since day one. I wanted to text them because I felt like there was a need to show that I notice all the good that they do to me. The past few weeks have been pretty hard on me, and they have been some of the truest people I know.
It is hard finding true, honest people that just want the best for you and I am the luckiest person alive to be able to have them by my side. It made me feel very good about myself and thankful for them, when I texted them. I know they would do anything for me, just as I would do anything for them.
#47 - Argue for your limitations, and they're yours.
Discuss a time where you had felt self doubt and put limitations on yourself. How did you or how can you change this behavior?
My boyfriend broke up with me. I felt very alone, and believed that I had lost some friends because of it. Due to feeling alone, unworthy, and neglected by my friends, I truly believed that no one would care about me and that I’m not interesting. These are mindful limitations that I placed on myself to believe that I am not worthy, when it's the exact opposite. It is hard leaving certain relationships, but by learning to love yourself and be by yourself will make you the happiest in the end. People come and go and people will not treat you with the respect that you deserve, but by loving yourself and being happy with those that do show you respect will make you the best version. I pity those who are not content with themselves and who do not know how to control their emotions. People tend to be shocked when they are seen as the bad guy, when they do wrong. Making excuses for yourself is also another form of putting limitations. You are limiting yourself from growth and being a healthy person.
I am slowly learning to love myself, and not take things personally when others do not realize how great of a person you are.
Chapter #49
Resist the Urge to Criticize
What is your perspective on one who is critical, talking poorly about another person, and lies to feed their ego? Look inward… are you guilty?
My thoughts about people who fit under this description are not very high, yet I too also do this. It is very natural to be judgmental, however what good does it do? One way I know that it is wrong is that if I get caught saying something nasty about someone or just saying something that isn't the best, I feel ashamed and embarrassed. Giving unnecessary comments doesn't really have any good for humanity because it is just putting negativity in the universe. This can say a lot about a person, because at the end of the day it reflects back at you. However, criticism is needed for change and growth. Without such, I would not be the person I am today.
Some points that I have heard today in class that I took away from was to read a room. There will always be a time and place for everything. Sometimes you say that a comment will be beneficial, but sometimes they are not.
Chapter #50
Write Down Your Five Most Stubborn Positions and See if You Can Soften Them.
Where do you find stubbornness in yourself? Describe in detail.
Naming my five most stubborn positions might be a little hard to pinpoint, but some of my generalizations about men and our world is where I find myself to be the most stubborn. When things go wrong or not to plan, I find myself to take the negative route on things. To put it in simple terms, boys seem to be clueless and selfish and quite insensitive. While this is a large statement to say, through my experiences in life, it is true fir the most part. In their defense, these traits can be an advantage, however it makes it really hard to like someone long term. I want to change this habit because I do not believe it is fair to portray a large group of people in such a negative light. Most boys have good intentions, but sometimes that is just not enough for me. With good intentions there should be honesty and service; service to others as God has asked us to do.
In no means am I saying that I am not these traits, however, I do believe the women have a stronger capability to understand and act on our understanding. That is why I believe so many women stay in relationships that are not good for them because they see the pain/struggles their partner may be going through and all they want to do is help. Women are fixers, yet that isn't always our responsibility. I have my opinions and although I need to be more open minded, sometimes putting those thoughts on the back burner might not be a bad idea.
Resist the Urge to Criticize
What is your perspective on one who is critical, talking poorly about another person, and lies to feed their ego? Look inward… are you guilty?
My thoughts about people who fit under this description are not very high, yet I too also do this. It is very natural to be judgmental, however what good does it do? One way I know that it is wrong is that if I get caught saying something nasty about someone or just saying something that isn't the best, I feel ashamed and embarrassed. Giving unnecessary comments doesn't really have any good for humanity because it is just putting negativity in the universe. This can say a lot about a person, because at the end of the day it reflects back at you. However, criticism is needed for change and growth. Without such, I would not be the person I am today.
Some points that I have heard today in class that I took away from was to read a room. There will always be a time and place for everything. Sometimes you say that a comment will be beneficial, but sometimes they are not.
Chapter #50
Write Down Your Five Most Stubborn Positions and See if You Can Soften Them.
Where do you find stubbornness in yourself? Describe in detail.
Naming my five most stubborn positions might be a little hard to pinpoint, but some of my generalizations about men and our world is where I find myself to be the most stubborn. When things go wrong or not to plan, I find myself to take the negative route on things. To put it in simple terms, boys seem to be clueless and selfish and quite insensitive. While this is a large statement to say, through my experiences in life, it is true fir the most part. In their defense, these traits can be an advantage, however it makes it really hard to like someone long term. I want to change this habit because I do not believe it is fair to portray a large group of people in such a negative light. Most boys have good intentions, but sometimes that is just not enough for me. With good intentions there should be honesty and service; service to others as God has asked us to do.
In no means am I saying that I am not these traits, however, I do believe the women have a stronger capability to understand and act on our understanding. That is why I believe so many women stay in relationships that are not good for them because they see the pain/struggles their partner may be going through and all they want to do is help. Women are fixers, yet that isn't always our responsibility. I have my opinions and although I need to be more open minded, sometimes putting those thoughts on the back burner might not be a bad idea.
#51 - Just for fun, agree with criticism directed towards you (Then watch it go away)
Describe a time when someone criticizes you and discusses the emotions felt behind these comments. What do you think about the author’s idea accepting the criticism?
I have been criticized my whole entire life from my friends to my family members. Growing up in a family of 5 children, my sisters have told me every insult that you can imagine. Now there is a difference between an insult and criticism. An insult is unnecessary and has the intent of putting someone down. Criticism is honest and real comments that are meant to help people, however may not always be the nicest thing to say. Depending on what I am being criticized on, I can take it pretty well externally; however, I tend to overthink almost everything. I do not think this is the healthiest thing to do, but I believe that it keeps me self aware of who I am.
Criticism is very crucial to the development of a human being, however, it is one of the hardest things to deal with. Everyone faces challenges with this because it is human nature to be defensive when people are attacking you. I agree with the author's perspective of criticism, with one exception. I think that you should not have to change who you are in favor of other people. Take into consideration their suggestion, and use it wisely.
#52 - Search for a grain of truth in other opinion
Describe a moment when someone shared their opinion that you didn't agree with, but was willing to listen and hear a different perspective. How did overall conversations go?
If I am going to be honest, a lot of people have told me very interesting opinions. There are so many that it is very overwhelming to just pick one. “You wear weird clothes,” You are too loud,” “ You are fat,” and the list goes on. Over the past few years, I have tried to gain courage to get better at confronting people, but I cry too much. I cry when I am frustrated, sad, mad, and even happy. This has resulted in conversations becoming deeper and a bigger deal than it has to be. I am not saying that that is a necessary bad thing; yet, I am not saying it is the best. There is always a time and place on where and when you want to show a lot of emotion, because people are evil and can use it against you. People wonder why people have bad communication skills, yet those same people are the reason why people feel the need to not be their true selves in conversations.
Describe a time when someone criticizes you and discusses the emotions felt behind these comments. What do you think about the author’s idea accepting the criticism?
I have been criticized my whole entire life from my friends to my family members. Growing up in a family of 5 children, my sisters have told me every insult that you can imagine. Now there is a difference between an insult and criticism. An insult is unnecessary and has the intent of putting someone down. Criticism is honest and real comments that are meant to help people, however may not always be the nicest thing to say. Depending on what I am being criticized on, I can take it pretty well externally; however, I tend to overthink almost everything. I do not think this is the healthiest thing to do, but I believe that it keeps me self aware of who I am.
Criticism is very crucial to the development of a human being, however, it is one of the hardest things to deal with. Everyone faces challenges with this because it is human nature to be defensive when people are attacking you. I agree with the author's perspective of criticism, with one exception. I think that you should not have to change who you are in favor of other people. Take into consideration their suggestion, and use it wisely.
#52 - Search for a grain of truth in other opinion
Describe a moment when someone shared their opinion that you didn't agree with, but was willing to listen and hear a different perspective. How did overall conversations go?
If I am going to be honest, a lot of people have told me very interesting opinions. There are so many that it is very overwhelming to just pick one. “You wear weird clothes,” You are too loud,” “ You are fat,” and the list goes on. Over the past few years, I have tried to gain courage to get better at confronting people, but I cry too much. I cry when I am frustrated, sad, mad, and even happy. This has resulted in conversations becoming deeper and a bigger deal than it has to be. I am not saying that that is a necessary bad thing; yet, I am not saying it is the best. There is always a time and place on where and when you want to show a lot of emotion, because people are evil and can use it against you. People wonder why people have bad communication skills, yet those same people are the reason why people feel the need to not be their true selves in conversations.